The Good Old Married Life
by Xane Kudo
Summary: Bullet was sure that she truly loved Noel and would do anything to make her happy, and wouldn't change it for the world. And now that same motto was being put to the test. Why? The answer was laying in a moldering mess on a plate.


I had an idea. I wanted to put it down. So here I am and here it is. Enjoy

* * *

Bullet, and not for the first time in her life, had to remind herself that she loved Noel Vermillion and would do anything she asked of her.

It was an incredibly easy thing to do, too. The blonde woman was just too damn adorable to ignore, and Bullet would feel instantly bad if she ever denied her anything.

Noel was someone who she wanted to protect and love, and she did so with 100% gusto.

From the first time they met, when she was injured from a mission gone wrong and Noel found her and nursed her back to health when she was a nun, to the awkward feelings of romance that kept blossoming between them during their time together, to the eventual confession from both women, to the first date and many more afterwards, to the proposal of marriage after getting down on one knee and popping the question while embracing a tearful Noel as she repeated "Yes" over and over, to the wedding that featured a Noel with no make-up due to her constant tears of happiness, to the highly eventful wedding night, and so on…

Bullet was sure as all hell that she truly loved Noel and would do anything to make her happy, and wouldn't change it for the world.

And now that same motto was being put to the test.

Why?

The answer was laying in a moldering mess on a plate.

The very instant she looked at the... _whatever it was_...her danger instincts went on high alert. Sure, she wanted to believe that the...food, if she could call it that...wasn't going to harm her, but every fiber in her being was telling her otherwise. She never felt any danger like this since the time she had to face her mother figure when she was angry.

That time, someone had eaten the dinner that was meant for everyone, and she was livid when she found out. Bullet would never forget what happened to the unlucky guy who ended up confessing.

But that... _that_ was almost nothing compared to what she was facing right now.

But what made it even worse was she couldn't even escape, and that was because she had two big green eyes that were attached to her lovely wife, looking at her with expectations and hope. **LOTS** of hope.

The hope that the dish she had made was going to be finished and enjoyed by her busty mercenary.

"Here. I hope you like it..." Noel said, her voice carrying a good amount of self-doubt. "I...I tried my best to make something that you would like, and...well...I kept worrying that I would mess it up…"

Bullet was torn between lying to her and telling her the truth. She knew that the blonde woman tried her best, but as for messing up…

...there were too many things to say about that.

"But...when I thought of you being happy, and how much you did for me and how you made me so happy...I…" She held her hands to her chest, "I wanted to make something that would make you happy. To show you how much I love you…" She looked up at Bullet and smiled. "So that's why i spent all day trying to make this for you. I wanted to try and make my best dish, only for you." She poked Bullet's nose lightly.

The other woman couldn't help but smile at Noel's determination to make her happy.

Noel then reached for a spoon and scooped up a nice chunk of her...dish. "Now then...eat up!" She said as she held it up to Bullet's mouth. "This is all for you, and I want to see you enjoy my food!"

It was then that the danger that Bullet sensed was back in full swing. She looked down at the offending food, then back to Noel's smiling face, which to Bullet, almost seemed criminal at times. She lost count as to how many times she ended up doing whatever Noel wanted when she made a cute face. It was so cute and innocent that Bullet wanted to put a ban on it, but ironically, Noel's pout put a stop to it.

But this time, Bullet would stand her ground!

Sure, the last time she fell for that face, she had lovemarks in places that shouldn't have lovemarks, but Noel really wanted to try it, especially since she wanted to make sure that everyone knows who Bullet belonged to. Right after, Noel ended up with the same treatment, but it was...much rougher than what she did with Bullet.

And then the mercenary discovered Noel's secret kink.

But back to the big topic: Bullet wasn't going to fall for it anymore! No sir, no way! She knew that the minute she took a single bite of Noel's food, no amount of medical attention would help her recover.

The danger she felt was _that_ bad.

She looked back at the dish and gulped. It was going to be tough, and she would rather feed herself to The Black Beast than make Noel sad, but she had to do it:

She had to deny Noel and tell her how she felt about the dish.

But right as she was about to tell her wife, she found her lips being captured by the blonde girl.

Bullet's eyes widened in surprise, but as soon as Noel's wrapped her arms around her neck, the mercenary ended up returning the kiss and grabbing her wife's waist, pulling her onto her lap and having the blonde girl straddle her.

The two women hugged each other closer as they began using their tongues. Bullet had always loved the fact that Noel loved kissing, and she even loved it when the kissing became more intimate. It showed a side of Noel that no one had seen before, and it made the mercenary feel special, knowing that she was the only one who saw that side.

Because of that, the bedroom activities were heavily looked forward to.

The heavy kiss ended after a few moments, but as she backed up, Bullet saw the look in Noel's eyes. She knew that look anywhere, and it meant only one thing:

Noel was in _that_ mood.

Before she could go in for a second round, she was stopped by the blonde girl, who simply pointed at the dish behind her.

She wanted Bullet to eat, and because she was in that mood, she wouldn't take no for an answer.

It was then that Bullet had a choice to make: she could eat the glorified whatever-the-hell-it-was, and then she can take Noel up to the bedroom and perform the Wicked Moves of Love, as Noel would coin them (and Bullet wouldn't dare tell her that it was lame), or she could not eat anything, and she would go to bed not only frustrated, but on the couch, and Noel would never let her hear the end of it.

So with that in mind, Bullet knew what the correct choice was, and so…

...she took the entire dish and shoved it into her mouth in one go.

* * *

On the far side of Kagutsuchi, Litchi Faye-Ling was getting ready to put some delicious meat buns in the oven when her phone went off, signaling a patient who wanted to make an appointment.

She sighed to herself. She was so looking forward to the season finale of _All My Kakas_. The last episode showed Juando and Marcelle having a one-night stand, and it was implied that not only did Marcelle's husband, Ian, find out, but even more so, Juando may not be in love with Marcelle, but in fact, he may actually be in love with Ian! The drama was so intense, that she would be crazy not to miss it! She even closed a bit early to catch it, but alas, the effort was in vain.

Fare Thee Well, afternoon. You tried, but it just wasn't meant to be.

After mulling over it after a bit, Litchi went and answered the phone. "Hello, you've reached my clinic. Dr. Litchi Faye-Ling speaking. How may I help you?"

The answer she got was not something she expected.

" _MISS LITCHIII! HELP ME!"_

Litchi had to push the phone away from her ear so as to not blow out her eardrum. Whoever that was, she definitely had a good pair of lungs.

Reluctantly after a brief moment, she put the phone back to her ear and answered once more. "Um...w..who is this?"

Thankfully, the voice calmed down in that time to answer properly.

" _I..I'm sorry. It's Noel…*sniff*...but I need your help! Something's happened to Bullet, and I don't know what to do! Please, help me!"_

Litchi's eyes widened and she gasped a bit. She knew Bullet was tough as nails and was hard to put down, and anything outside of ars magus related stuff couldn't stand a chance against her. What could had happened to her? She had to know, but she needed Noel to calm down first. "Ok, ok. Calm down, Noel. You must try and tell me what happened. It's hard to think that she would be injured so easily, unless it was someone that was a lot tougher than she is. Quickly, check and see what's she like right now."

It was quite for the next few seconds before Noel answered. _"Um...she wasn't in a fight."_

Litchi blinked. "She...wasn't?"

" _No, she wasn't. She's unconscious right now, but before that, we were eating dinner, and then we...um...started kissing, and then she ate all of the food that I cooked."_

Litchi blinked again. "She...ate all of your food? All of it?"

" _Yeah. But now she's not waking up! She's not moving, she's not breathing, she's not doing anything! I have no idea what happened, so that's why i called you! Please, Help Me, Miss Litchi!"_ Noel cried. _"I'm worried about Bullet, and I don't want her to die! Please, help me!"_

Litchi had to resist the urge to facepalm herself. She was going to miss the epic season finale of _All My Kakas_ and have stale mean buns because a certain mercenary just couldn't say no to her wife, and ended up with a severe case of NCP, or Noel's Cooking Poisoning.

Well...good thing she had DVR...


End file.
